dedication: this one is for someone who told me,*quote* for gods sake please at least write nonsense instead of just staring at space if you have no work! *unquote*
in the past few days, apart from giving various advices i have been on the receiving end of quite a few. since a few hours i have been going back in time and analysing a lot of things, which for some reason had taken for granted. (i know this is sounding a bit gibberish, but you we all have our gibberish moments)
so one of my friends has been having a tough time with a best friend. fights, misunderstandings and such. person that i am, i sit and give advices - do this, do that. that's when i realise, i should take my own advices sometimes. at least 2 of my friends WILL agree that i give really good advices, i wonder why i don't follow them myself!
i have my demons. A LOT OF THEM. why do i try figuring them alone when i am clearly not much of a keeping-my-problems-to-myself kind of a person? (it usually ends with me losing my head or me ending up crying, either of them not good for me or anyone around me!) i think i tend to over analyse the situation, which gets me into deeper shit and wrong or misinterpreted ideas. (sometimes i am right ok!)
one theory is i am too damn stubborn. i resist change even if sometimes change is required and is for good. so i am left behind in an make believe idealist world where everything goes my way. ok maybe half of it can be true, but i definitely don't live in a make believe world.
the other theory is, i don't trust anyone at all. one person, maybe two. that's all the people i trust. that's why when i get upset, there might be no one to pacify me or make me think rational thoughts. and Nirali : upset? SCARY. i guess i should make more friends.
anyways done with grumbling..if anyone is interested in more disjointed ideas please feel free to chat or call me up. oh if by any chance anyone has another theory or can deduct why i have my whys, do let me know.
